choices

I wanted you so much. But you looked so disinterested that it pissed me off when we talked. You took so long to decide if you wanted me.

I didn't want him that much, but he wanted me so much more. And then he asked, as if I was the One he wanted.

I called you. I needed to know if you wanted me. I gave you a deadline, but you didn't reply. So I chose to be with him instead. He wasn't the best or the one I desired most, but at least I knew there would be someone out there who wanted me for who I was.

I accepted him. You called soon after, saying that you wanted me. Your voice was so sincere, I cried. My heart ached because I wished so hard, all day and all night for a year for you to be mine, but once you decided that you wanted me, it was too late.

It was partly my fault. I was too impatient. I didn't have faith in you and I was not confident of myself to know that I was the one you wanted. Maybe that's why. I didn't believe in you.

I made my choice and I will stick by it. Because God has His plans for me and I know that He will always be watching over me.

But it still aches... so so much...