girlfriend/boyfriend

Let's talk about girlfriends/boyfriends at different stages of our lives.

Primary School
"Teacher teacher, Xiaoming likes Meili. He say she very pretty. He wants to marry her." -giggles-
Remember such nonsense in primary school? That's the first step into our love lives. Even in primary school, the guys only fall for the pretty and slim girls with long hair and fair complexion. While the girls always secretly crush on either the headprefect or the naughtiest boy in school (talk about the model student vs bad boy complex). The pretty girl, flattered by the boy's attraction to her, will always act coy around him and attempt to slap anyone on the back whenever they give her the cheeky look. Xiaoming the bad boy will be at his surprisingly best behaviour only when the girl is around. Otherwise, he is a hopeless tyrant no discipline mistress could take in hand. The model student will do his best to impress the girl by impressing the teacher so that she would say, "Class, Daming scored 100 for his Math test again. All of you should follow his example, especially the boys who are always mishaving and not doing their work.
Daming kills two birds with one stone, rather, impresses two girls with a perfect score.
But one thing similar about Xiaoming and Daming, they only like the pretty girls. Not the fat or ugly ones. Only the pretty girls.

Secondary School
Secret Crush on Cool Guy
We pass our PSLE with flying colours and move on to secondary school. Albeit girls crush on the cutest singer/soccer player (that's how girls first learn the rules of soccer, by watching and going, "HEY! why did you kick MY beckham?". Whether we later grow to appreciate the game for its unspoken beauty, is another issue. I did!), we also crush on the cutest guy in school/some cool boys' school.
Let's talk about girls in a girls' school, since I was one. Now, there were only two cool boy's schools around, R! and @CS (in retrospect, how sad we were). Note the similarity to primary school. We either fall for the smart model student, or the bad boy. So there..
We wanted a cool guy to hang out with, to be seen with, someone who could charm us and make us laugh and make our girlfriends go "wah, her bf is so nice and cool!"
What did guys want from girls? Frankly, I don't know. I wasn't attached when I was in secondary school. Probably because just like in primary school, they were only interested in pretty girls. I was not one. Any guy wants to share his view?

Junior College
High School Romance
Junior College is where we were liberated from the evil clutches of single sex school and embraced the arrival of the opposite sex. Parents were slightly more liberal (definitely not mine) and we were allowed to go out till much later. Valentines' Day was a biggie in JC, even bigger than College Day. More roses were found in school on V day than potted plants which dressed up the stage on College Day. In fact, most couples I know started from JC. Even if they may no longer be together because of NS (see below), most people had their first taste of proper and long term romance in JC.
JC was where looks didn't really matter so so much anymore (I got my first boyfriend there so I guess that's a pretty accurate deduction). It was more of 'clicking', enjoying each other's company, and sometimes, because you two hang out in the same gang/clique so it's more convenient to go out.
JC was where hearts were broken, people cried over the phone, and failed exams because he/she was dumped.
JC was where memories were the most beautiful, yet the most painful.

Army
It was time for the boys to become men, and the girls had to watch their bfs leave for the 3-month BMT thing. This was the time the boy needed a girl by his side to keep him sane and in tuned with the outside world. Desperate for female company, they talked to their gfs at night despite lights off and the penalty for chatting on the phone at night being DB (or something like that). They depended on their gf for emotional support and the only person they went out with during the weekends were their gf. Ironically, this was the time for the girl to stray. The girl was free to roam on weekdays. And men were on the prowl. Especially once university started and girls were welcomed to school by seemingly mature men who have been-there-done-that in NS compared to their wuss bf complaining to them about his 'boss'.
Many couples broke up while the guy was in army. But the same many persevered.

University
As mentioned, the girls go to uni first. With tough men in their same tutorial class, many girls fall for the trap (and I mean trap because the men were really still boys, just like the girls' wuss bf) and start dating them. They get attached, and miraculously, some couples are still together in their final year of uni.
Now this time, looks may be first impression for the guy to be attracted to the girl, but being able to 'click' with the girl ranks much much higher than looks. At the same time, girls don't just fall for the model student or the bad boy anymore. Guys want girls who look decent (as in not downright fugly), have good character and whom they can talk to. Depending on the type of guy you are talking about, most guys at this stage are looking for long term relationships. May not be marriage, but at least a few years. Someone they can study with, talk about the most random things as well as the most serious legal cases. Someone they can talk to.
As for girls, they want guys who can give them a sense of security, someone who can comfort them when they are upset and protect them when they are weak. Similarly, most girls at this stage are also looking for long term relationships. And indeed, most couples who met in uni do end up getting married. But that I suspect is because once we start working, there is really no time to date and 'get to know' other guys better. We have other better things to do in our lives. Like shopping. And spa.

We think differently and mature as we grow. Unexpected events in our lives change our mindsets and our view of relationship may also change. As a result, we may realise that what we want in life may be different from what the other person wants. But the most important thing for a couple to do is to talk. Talk it out. Tell each other what you think about the issue. It may be a painful process to learn that the other party has changed. So either you drop him if you cannot handle it, or you stick with him through and through and accept his change. You may change your own thinking as well, not for his sake or just for the relationship to work, but for YOURSELF, if it makes you a better person as a whole. So that when your time is up and God judges you, you do not fear what you have done is not answerable to Him.

Love is what you need. Coupled with mutual commitment and devotion to the relationship. And I mean commitment to the relationship. Not just to the person. Because your feelings to the person may change and the person you love will change in time. But if you are also committed to make the relationship work, you are not blinded by the person's flaws. Instead, you analyse the situation objectively and you tell each other what you can do to make the relationship better. This way, the relationship will not just be you and me in lalaland but also be complete and in tune with your surroundings.

Do you know of any couple who has braved the rough storms and torrential rains and stayed together since primary school? Or even secondary school? If you know any, help me tell them I give them my sincere blessings that they will be together, for all time. Because I don't know any couple who has.