my grandmother

My maternal grandmother's lungs are failing and she has difficulty clearing her phlegm. Every hour, the nurses at the nursing home have to insert a tube down her throat to suck up her phlegm, which makes my grandmother feel nauseous. Once the phlegm is cleared, her throat then becomes very dry, hence she feels very uncomfortable. So she will groan in pain until some phlegm is produced to moisten her throat. She will feel better for the next 5 minutes. However, more and more phlegm is produced and within 20 minutes, she will have difficulty breathing again. When the phlegm reaches the top of the throat, the nurses will repeat the sucking process.

And all the time, she cannot speak properly because her throat is either arid or phlegmy.

It was so so painful to watch.

My grandmother is a devout Catholic. When she could still remember dates before she was diagnosed with senile dementia, she never failed to go to church early every Sunday morning, sit at the first pew and say her Hail Marys before Mass began. She took her Holy Communion and asked the priest to bless her.

When she was first sent to the nursing home, she was so sad she couldn't go to her church anymore that she cried (even though she was senile and didn't know what was going on). Thankfully, the nursing home had Catholic Mass and the nurses wheeled her to the chapel every week. Even as her condition worsened and she forgot everyone's names, she never forgot that Holy Communion is to be left in the mouth until it melts.

Now, she lies in bed every day, is tube-fed and a tube is inserted into her throat every hour. She no longer takes Holy Communion because she cannot eat anything anymore.

Lord, please bless my grandmother and keep her safe, happy and healthy.